Just Another Ant
Friday, 23. May 2003
"Shy"


Caroline Knapp erzählt (mit einer tragikomischen Pointe) über ihre Schüchternheit:

Consider the parents of boyfriends, a category that's always ranked high on my list of shy-provoking personalities, always pushed the major fear buttons (fear of being judged badly, fear of failing to fit in, fear of being deemed an inadequate partner). I've tended to compensate for my discomfort and silence by acting the way I did as a shy kid at family gatherings, by reaching into my bag of good-girl tricks and expecting to be seen accordingly: I might not say a word during dinner, but I'll set the table, I'll leap up and clear the dishes when the meal is over, I'll work that smiling-shyly, eager-to-please affect for all it's worth. See how helpful I am? How good-hearted and eager to please?

Astonishingly, this hasn't always worked. In fact, it's almost never worked. Parents of boyfriends have typically found me aloof, standoffish, inscrutable. After a long weekend at his parents' house, a three-day family gathering in which I struggled to compensate for my mute discomfort by making beds, cooking breakfast, even chopping wood, one ex-boyfriend confessed that his mother thought I was downright rude. [Salon C. Knapp "Shy"]

Gefunden über Laura Millers Rezension [Daypass nötig] von Knapp letztem Buch, "Appetites". Caroline Knapp hat ein in seiner Grundtendenz (noch einmal) tragisches Leben erlitten: Als Jugendliche Anorexie, später alkoholkrank, starb sie schließlich voriges Jahr an Lungenkrebs.

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